Chapter 12 or 13. Or maybe 11.

I am posting this only because I haven't posted in forever. And because Linda said I should post something besides "I am a Bum" (which I am). Enjoy this chapter from my NaNoWriMo.

Herman waited as the monotonous tone repeated itself for the second time. Then the third. On the fourth beep there was a click as someone picked up the phone. A woman's voice came from the other end of the phone line, "UFO hotline. How may we help you? Remember that the UFO must have been seen within the past week or it is not useful to our UFO tracking needs."
"Yeah. Hi. My name is Herman Eggleston, I am currently in North Virginia and I seem to have found a UFO."
"Well I would certainly hope that you have seen a UFO if you're calling the UFO hotline," commented the lady as she smacked her lips like a high school girl on a chewing gum binge.
"No need to be rude, ma'am. I'm not a crazy hillbilly from West Virginia, I am a scientist. You may have heard of me. Herman Eggleston. Does it sound familiar?"
There was silence on the other end of the line.
"Alright, then. So you haven't heard of me."
There was silence on the other line again.
“Sir, do you have a UFO to report or not?”
“I do. I was looking through my telescope—“
“Oh, you’re that type.”
“What? What type?” Herman groaned impatiently. “As I was saying, I was looking through my telescope and I noticed some sort of unidentified flying object—“
“We call them UFOs.”
“I apologize. I was looking through my telescope when I noticed a UFO last night. I didn’t think much of it because it could have well been a rock—“
“Sir, did you see a UFO or not?”
“I AM GETTING THERE!” Herman was not very happy at this point and nearly considered hanging up and forgetting about the UFO altogether. He continued despite his growing anger, “Yes, well I decided to come back today and check it out. When I found it again, I noticed that it had entered orbit around Jupiter.”
“Sir, we only care about UFOs here on earth.”
“That might be so, but I have reason to believe that there is a space craft out there that may be heading towards earth.”
“I express my deepest remorse, sir, but I have to tell you that I don’t actually care about your life story. Nor do I care about your pet rock. The best thing I can tell you right now is that either China or Russia has sent another rocket or space hotel into space or that you are going senile. Either way there is nothing you or I can do. Please do call back if you get beamed up by aliens and you feel threatened by them. Now have a nice night and don’t feed the aliens.”
Click. Herman groaned again. He decided at that moment that there was no hope in society anymore. Not even the UFO hotline cared about his UFO spotting.

I am Such a Bum!

I know. I didn't post in nearly a week. Call me what you want, but I have lost the total enthusiasm that I used to have when someone mentioned my blog. Nothing has really happened in the past week...school I guess. You know, the norm. I don't feel like writing today, so this is it. Go to 6LCF for a better post, this week is our first theme week! That's all. Bye!

Man that was like the shortest post in the history of posts!

Monty Python

You know what is simply and utterly despicable? The fact that many of my friends have not seen every single Monty Python sketch, or even the Holy Grail, or any of his work! Do you know how hard it is for me to survive through the day knowing that they have not been in the presence of the wonderful wonders that are commonly associated with the enjoyment of Monty Python. This man is a GENIUS! Even his opening credits are funny (see opening credits of Monty Python and the Holy Grail). Every skit, nay every scene of every skit, nay! Every word of every scene of every skit ever spoken by the characters is hilarious. Repeat: the man is a GENIUS! If you have not seen any of his videos or skits, I suggest you look down the screen, yeah. Now, see that link there? Yeah, click on that. Now watch the video, if you like it, keep watching by clicking on part 2, then 3, etc., the first one is the Holy Grail, possibly the most famous of Python's works.

The Holy Grail: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjCdWz65iuk

Okay, now if you liked that, here are some shorter skits first, The Argument Clinic sketch, the World's Funniest Joke, French Taunter, Biggus Dickus and then the Stoning, if you like them, watch them all!!! I command you! Go!

The Argument Clinic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMlv3ripSM

World's Funniest Joke:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhmnOpoGAPw

French Taunter:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8yjNbcKkNY
Biggus Dickus: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K8_jgiNqUc
Stoning: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIaORknS1Dk

Remember, I did not make these videos, they are made by Monty Python. I do not take ownership of them, I just wish for the world to enjoy the splendors of this marvelous man.

Enjoy!

What had happened was...

I know, I know! It hasn't even been a full month since I've had this blog and I am already not posting! I am such a bad person! I have an excuse though, really, I do!

1. My fish was sick and I need to take it to the vet, oh wait, I don't have a fish.
   
2. I came down with Spring Fever.
3. I had no internet
   
4. I needed a mental day(s).
5. My cats ate my computer.
6. I had a lot of homework.
7. It was Mother's Day!
8. I was busy writing my 6LCF post.

Okay, only 5-8 are true...okay, 6-8, but still! I was quite busy and I apologize for my undedicatedness. Not much happened anyway! Mother's Day was fun, I made my mom breakfast and some cards and origami, stuff that moms like. Then yesterday I had more homework than usual and it was my day to post on 6LCF.

Weekly Read #3:
I sort of lost Vanishing Acts for the weekend, only to discover that someone had put it in my bookshelf. I mean, who would think to put a book on a bookshelf? Seriously. Taming of the Shrew is going on nicely, I like it a lot.

Today's Actual Post:
If you haven't read 6LCF today, go and do that right now, I can wait. Are you back? Good, so xiy mentioned cooking in her post, but she put it in nice terms compared to what really happened. You see, it all started on the first day of actual cooking when we baked cookies. Our cooking teacher lives in this fantasy world where butter, margarine, Crisco, and oil all just spice up the flavors of things and make them sooo much better. xiy, being the healthy person that she is put about 1/6 cups less sugar in her cookies so they wouldn't be so unbearably sweet, her awful partner did not like that. He made a big deal out of it and has been pestering xiy ever since. Then, today, we were making pancakes. xiy was doing all the work (with a little help from Partner #2) because Partner #1 (the awful one) kept doing everything wrong. xiy calmly tried to explain to him how it is done the correct way and he kept saying "Then why don't you do it?". So xiy did. xiy knows how to cook, xiy knows that when one pours a lot of batter onto a hot skillet that the batter cooks. So xiy put up with this all class. I was getting quite annoyed so I said something like, "Stop being so rude!" and then he was like, "Was I talking to you? No. I didn't think so." Which really made me mad, I wanted to punch him in the face. Finally xiy got to eat and left him to do the dishes, our teacher saw him doing this and was all like, "Ooh! Who is unit 6? Why are you making him do all the work?" Then she made xiy stay after class and dry a giant pile of dishes. I felt so bad for xiy! I hate cooking!!!!!

And now for something completely different; I am going to camp in about a month!!! I am so excited! I go to this language camp in MN. There are 17 different languages that you can choose from, I go to the German one because I am fluent...for a 5 year old, so I need to get better. This will be my 5th year going! One of my other friends (not a curly fry) has been going with me for just as long and will be coming too. Also, House and her boyfriend are going to the Chinese camp together! Isn't that sweet?! I am so pumped!!! Can't wait!! *jumps up and down*

I gotta go now! Byee!

Forgot to Post....

Hey, so in my rush to get some gifts together for my mom on mother's day, I forgot to make a post today. This will be really brief.

Okay. Tomorrow is mother's day. I am being the good daughter that I am and making my mother the cliche breakfast in bed and some home made coupons. I personally would hate that sort of thing as a gift, but moms seem to like it. I also made origami stuff in a pretty box along with two certificates of appreciation. My mom was sort of late in asking for something for mother's day, so when she asked for apple trees for our backyard (sort of random, I know), we had to rush to get them. The trees haven't come yet. Not good.

What else? Oh yeah! I went to see "Babies" the movie today with my neighbors. It was sort of like a documentary. There weren't any words at all (well there were but no commentary or anything). I had never heard of it so I didn't know what to expect. It was really interesting to see how completely and utterly different babies' lives are in different parts of the world. I laughed a lot at the babies and it was overall pretty good.

Other than that I didn't do anything today, so I apologize. I have to go eat dinner now (it's almost 10 and we are just about to start eating).

Happy Mother's Day to all the world's moms.

Happy Friday!

Yes, those lovely words, finally uttered once again! The weekend is here! *happy sigh* Today was the last day of school for seniors in our town. So instead of actually going to school, they sat on the front lawn of the high school (Lawn Day) and did not allow anyone else on. I cannot wait to be a senior so I can rule the lawn.
Today was really quite nice for me. I missed 2nd through 5th periods today, which is all of my actual classes except for Latin. But I like Latin. I got to miss these important periods today because my history class got to go to a mock trial (oh wait, I said that yesterday). It was really cool, and funny. We all got names of "witnesses" and other people and had to go in front of everyone. One girl was the judge, we had defense/prosecuting attorneys, defendant, and even a bailiff. I was just a regular witness person dude thing by the name of Sammy Shoes. I didn't have a very interesting part, but who cares. xiy on the other hand had by far the most funny part. Her name was Janey and she was supposed to be obsessed with butter. She said things like "I love butter. It is my favorite food. I eat it on everything," and her prior job had been buttering toast at Denney's. The reason why she had to testify was because she had been the substitute janitor for the day and had had to wax the stairs. Instead of using wax she had buttered them. I was dying laughing when she said these things. xiy could not stop laughing either and had to stop reading her prompt card over and over again so she could laugh. Then we got to visit the jail cells (which were yellow). They were gross and ugly and the bed was literally 1 1/2 feet wide. I really hope I won't do anything that will get me in there...

Another reason why today was so awesome was because we had band contest. If you are not 1.) a nerd, 2.) a band geek, or 3.) really bored with your life, do not keep reading. We were the first band to play (being that my band is the best of the 5 bands at our school) and it was really boring at first. We got into the auditorium and the judges looked at us. And we looked at them. And they looked at us. Then our director came in and we sat down! *gasp!*. Then we played our music. There weren't any major issues except that a french horn played a G in one spot where they weren't supposed to and a clarinet squeaked. Not only this, but we were extremely sharp the entire time because it was soooo hot. I don't know our score yet...but I'll find out.
I may not post this weekend (I may be out of town) so I will break my streak. *tear tear* It's all good. Alrighty then! Bye!!!


Oh, by the way, I thought I might add this image I found on Google of "Momo". Momo means peach in Japanese and apparently is a "super pop love hurricane". Just like me. Ooor maybe not. But that is her down there. She is almost as pretty as I am! (but I do a seductive wink better)

Peer Pressure and stuff...

They have finally done it. Lynda and House made me wear a skirt to school. Actually, they will be making me wear one tomorrow. If you don't know me, which you probably don't, I don't normally wear skirts. Ever. Only on special occasions like Jesus' birthday and band concerts. Tomorrow, however, we (my history class) will be field-tripping to our municipal court. We were told to dress nice-ish, this means nice top and pants maybe. Then after we have finished tripping (haha), there is a band contest that is hosted by our school each year. For that I must wear a black skirt and white top. So somehow in study hall yesterday, Lynda and House convinced me that I had to wear the skirt to school. So I am. That's how easily I get pressured into doing things. Tomorrow, for the first time in my middle school career, I will wear a skirt to school. *Sigh*. I can't even believe myself.

Okay, next topic. English. The only subject where I somehow manage to hate it and love it at the same time. For one thing, I love reading in English (and I suppose in the other two languages that I speak/study). I also enjoy writing to some extent, but not in any language other than English. Except for code. I tend to think of stories out of nowhere. If someone gives a random scenario, I tend to think of a story without even trying to. The negative side of English can be summed up in one word: essays. I absolutely despise essays, especially on topics that I am not particularly interested in. For example; essays on the Civil War. I don't see the point in writing an essay about how someone changed in the Civil War. I know that learning history is important, but writing essays totally ruins the fun. I enjoy learning about people in history, but once I actually have to start doing work for them (don't think of that sexually...please) I get quite disgruntled. I like that word. Disgruntled. I think of pigs when I write it or say. Disgruntled, disgruntled, disgruntled, disgruntled. What was I saying? That's another thing, I like learning new words. Now I know my vocabulary is not as rich as people such as xiy for example, but words are fun to learn, and to learn about. This sounds dumb. I am such a nerd.

Do you like listening to music? Yes, currently I listening to a song called Soul Sister by Soul Train. I absolutely adore it! It's so upbeat and happy and it makes me want to dance. If you want to listen to some good music go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVpv8-5XWOI. Do it. NOW! <3 Momo

I am writing in little font, in a light color. You can't see me! I'm a ninja!