I am posting this only because I haven't posted in forever. And because Linda said I should post something besides "I am a Bum" (which I am). Enjoy this chapter from my NaNoWriMo.
Herman waited as the monotonous tone repeated itself for the second time. Then the third. On the fourth beep there was a click as someone picked up the phone. A woman's voice came from the other end of the phone line, "UFO hotline. How may we help you? Remember that the UFO must have been seen within the past week or it is not useful to our UFO tracking needs."
"Yeah. Hi. My name is Herman Eggleston, I am currently in North Virginia and I seem to have found a UFO."
"Well I would certainly hope that you have seen a UFO if you're calling the UFO hotline," commented the lady as she smacked her lips like a high school girl on a chewing gum binge.
"No need to be rude, ma'am. I'm not a crazy hillbilly from West Virginia, I am a scientist. You may have heard of me. Herman Eggleston. Does it sound familiar?"
There was silence on the other end of the line.
"Alright, then. So you haven't heard of me."
There was silence on the other line again.
“Sir, do you have a UFO to report or not?”
“I do. I was looking through my telescope—“
“Oh, you’re that type.”
“What? What type?” Herman groaned impatiently. “As I was saying, I was looking through my telescope and I noticed some sort of unidentified flying object—“
“We call them UFOs.”
“I apologize. I was looking through my telescope when I noticed a UFO last night. I didn’t think much of it because it could have well been a rock—“
“Sir, did you see a UFO or not?”
“I AM GETTING THERE!” Herman was not very happy at this point and nearly considered hanging up and forgetting about the UFO altogether. He continued despite his growing anger, “Yes, well I decided to come back today and check it out. When I found it again, I noticed that it had entered orbit around Jupiter.”
“Sir, we only care about UFOs here on earth.”
“That might be so, but I have reason to believe that there is a space craft out there that may be heading towards earth.”
“I express my deepest remorse, sir, but I have to tell you that I don’t actually care about your life story. Nor do I care about your pet rock. The best thing I can tell you right now is that either China or Russia has sent another rocket or space hotel into space or that you are going senile. Either way there is nothing you or I can do. Please do call back if you get beamed up by aliens and you feel threatened by them. Now have a nice night and don’t feed the aliens.”
Click. Herman groaned again. He decided at that moment that there was no hope in society anymore. Not even the UFO hotline cared about his UFO spotting.
Herman waited as the monotonous tone repeated itself for the second time. Then the third. On the fourth beep there was a click as someone picked up the phone. A woman's voice came from the other end of the phone line, "UFO hotline. How may we help you? Remember that the UFO must have been seen within the past week or it is not useful to our UFO tracking needs."
"Yeah. Hi. My name is Herman Eggleston, I am currently in North Virginia and I seem to have found a UFO."
"Well I would certainly hope that you have seen a UFO if you're calling the UFO hotline," commented the lady as she smacked her lips like a high school girl on a chewing gum binge.
"No need to be rude, ma'am. I'm not a crazy hillbilly from West Virginia, I am a scientist. You may have heard of me. Herman Eggleston. Does it sound familiar?"
There was silence on the other end of the line.
"Alright, then. So you haven't heard of me."
There was silence on the other line again.
“Sir, do you have a UFO to report or not?”
“I do. I was looking through my telescope—“
“Oh, you’re that type.”
“What? What type?” Herman groaned impatiently. “As I was saying, I was looking through my telescope and I noticed some sort of unidentified flying object—“
“We call them UFOs.”
“I apologize. I was looking through my telescope when I noticed a UFO last night. I didn’t think much of it because it could have well been a rock—“
“Sir, did you see a UFO or not?”
“I AM GETTING THERE!” Herman was not very happy at this point and nearly considered hanging up and forgetting about the UFO altogether. He continued despite his growing anger, “Yes, well I decided to come back today and check it out. When I found it again, I noticed that it had entered orbit around Jupiter.”
“Sir, we only care about UFOs here on earth.”
“That might be so, but I have reason to believe that there is a space craft out there that may be heading towards earth.”
“I express my deepest remorse, sir, but I have to tell you that I don’t actually care about your life story. Nor do I care about your pet rock. The best thing I can tell you right now is that either China or Russia has sent another rocket or space hotel into space or that you are going senile. Either way there is nothing you or I can do. Please do call back if you get beamed up by aliens and you feel threatened by them. Now have a nice night and don’t feed the aliens.”
Click. Herman groaned again. He decided at that moment that there was no hope in society anymore. Not even the UFO hotline cared about his UFO spotting.
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